I've started walking, y'all. As in
exercise. Two miles a day at Medipark.
It began as a desperate attempt to coax
my butt back up to the tops of my thunder thighs. And also because I
couldn't even think about going back to the gym until I lose
ten pounds.
But then, a funny thing happened
on the way to the park...
I started liking it.
Can you even believe
it? Somewhere around the ¾ mile mark, I started feeling all zen-ish
and clear-headed. AT ONE with the universe. Or at least AT ONE with
the ducks at Medipark.
Could this be what meditation feels
like? Say whaaaaaat?!?
This may not seem like such a grand achievement to you non-ADHD types who already know how to
BE STILL. But from my scatter-brained cohorts... I would like a minute
of appreciative silence. (Okay, just gimme three seconds.)
You see, I've always sucked at meditation. I just
never 'got' it. Lord knows, I tried. But my feeble attempts always managed to end
up something like this:
I get all barefoot and cross legged and comfy on my pillow and close my eyes and start 'ohmmmmmm-ing' which makes my nose get all itchy and I rub it too hard and get snot on my hand so I have to get up to get a tissue and while I'm sitting back down I notice my toe polish is chipping but that's okay I need to meditate so I close my eyes and start 'ohmmmmmm-ing' again but then a renegade eye pops open and I start picking at the chipped toenail polish which starts to remind me of that fresh box of chocolate chip cookies the Dickman brought home from the store and all of a sudden I'm afraid I just might die if I can't have one, and...Meditation. Fail.
++++++++++++
Yet here I am, finally getting my MEDItation on at MEDIpark.
There's just something about being
outdoors---the 30 mph Panhandle breeze blowing through my hair, the
smell of duck poop and stagnant water wafting up my nose---that
clears away the cobwebs and takes me to a deep, quiet place.
And you know what else? I have discovered that
everything going on around me as I walk through the pretty little park is actually a metaphor for life. For example:
- I've noticed that the other walkers I pass fall into one of two groups: a) the serious ones who either look down or straight ahead to avoid eye contact -OR- b) the happy ones who can't wait to catch up and say, 'HI!!'. (This is a dilemma for me, as I relate more to the first group, but don't want to be labeled a 'rude walker'.)
- If I look down at my feet all the time, not only do I miss the pretty view, but sweat starts rolling down my chesticles. On the other hand... if I don't watch where I'm going, I can get tripped up by the bumps along the path or (even worse) end up doing a Scooby Dance in a pile of fresh doggy poo.
I find myself wondering about the people
I pass along the way. If I see someone sitting forlornly alone
on a park bench, I tell myself he/she must be worried about a loved one in the hospital nearby. And I pray for God to comfort them, to be with their loved ones. Just as I would have appreciated their prayers for my Daddy, when I sat forlornly on those same benches.
I imagine the nurses walking in their
scrubs are on their lunch hour, taking a break from the stress of their
job... wondering if they will ever find a balance between career
and family. I ask God to give them strength, and I hope they have someone to take care of them, as they care for everybody else.
Then, there are the old peeps, they are my
favorites, of course. I always feel the urge to break out in
applause, to come up behind them and cheer them on. But that would just be weird. So, I throw them an encouraging smile... which unfailingly comes back to me.
Last week, I was nearing the end of my
walk when I suddenly became aware of some Very Heavy Breathing (if you get my
drift. Wink. Wink.) As I rounded the corner, I was fully expecting
to find a couple of lovebirds making out on a blanket. Imagine my
surprise when there was no one in sight and I realized the heavy
breathing was coming from me.
++++++++++++
With all this stimulating activity going on around me, I bet you're wondering exactly when the meditation occurs.
It happens in the In-Between. In those
quiet spaces after one thought stops and before another begins.
And it's awesome.
Because those In-Between moments?
They have become my Jesus Moments.
Those are the moments that He comforts me.
He assures me.
He restores my faith...
...He walks with me and he talks with me.
And He tells me I am His own.
