December 04, 2012

SMOKE ON THE WATER, FIRE IN THE SKY

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Since I ended last year with a blog about the Apocalypse, it is only fitting that I should end 2012 in the same way.   According to mortally misinterpreted Mayan mathematics, there are less than three weeks left of humanity.
 
Now, I don't want to offend anybody who may  take these miscalculations seriously...but it seems everybody is making apocalypse jokes like there is no tomorrow.
 
 
Have I purchased a 2013 calendar? Yes.  With my January appointment to the gyno already neatly penciled in.   
 
Will I fill up my car with gas on December 21st? Eh, maybe not. And now that I think about it, I may just forget about doing laundry that week, as well. After all, a wise woman always hedges her bets.
 
I mean, there are always 'what-ifs'...

What if we knew for sure that the world really was going to end on December 12, 2012? What might we do differently?
 
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I will never forget the day my Daddy was told he had only three months left to live. I will forever remember how he looked at my Mom with a sad smile and said, “Well, Donna...I guess we need to plan that trip to Hawaya” (that's Texan for Hawaii).
 
Hawaii had always been on Dad's Bucket List.  But he never got to make that trip.

It wasn't necessarily because he ran out of time.  Those three desperate months were blessedly prolonged into three cherished years. 

The reason Dad never took Mom to Hawaii was because he was just too busy living to stop and plan a trip.  Going away to a tropical paradise became less important than golfing with his sons, hanging out with his family, simply appreciating what was right in front of him.

Did the knowledge of an imminent earthly expiration date change the way my Dad lived his life? Absolutely. Just like the song says, Daddy spent his last years loving deeper and speaking sweeter. And when all was said and done, I do believe he was glad he had the chance to live like he was dying.
 
So...why can't we do the same?
 
What if we payed less attention to the Twelve Days of Christmas (eight maids a milking, seriously?) and focused our attention on trying to live like we were dying?  Just for say, twelve days.  The Twelve Days of Pre-Apocalypse.
 
Hang with me here...I am not talking about maxing out your credit cards or running naked through the streets.  I'm merely suggesting that from December 10th to December 21st, you and I find ways to use our powers for good. 
 
I mean, what have we got to lose?  If we're all still here on December 22nd, then our little corner of the world will be a brighter, happier place.  If not...if we all get zapped into the apocalypse, at least we will go out holding hands and singing Kumbaya. 
 
Please accept this as your personal invitation to join me in celebrating...
 

THE TWELVE DAYS OF PRE-APOCALYPSE

 
(12-10-12) / DAY ONE:  Give a homemade coupon to the ONE you love the most (redeemable before 12-21-12) promising something that you know will make him or her smile. Reeeeeally smile. 
 
(12-11-12) / DAY TWO:  Tape an envelope with TWO dollars to a vending machine with a note telling the finder to enjoy a pre-apocalyptic treat.
 
(12-12-12) / DAY THREE: Share your favorite cookie recipe on Facebook. Then bake THREE dozen and give them away, preferably to someone who provides a valuable service to you and your family.  (And don't forget to take a minute to appreciate that 12-12-12 will be the very last date of perfect symmetry in our lifetime.  With or without an apocalypse.)
 
(12-13-12) / DAY FOUR: Go to the Dollar Store and hide  FOUR $1 bills, preferably in the toy section.
 
(12-14-12) / DAY FIVE:  High FIVE Day.  Give everybody you see a High Five. Heck, here's even one you can share online:   
 
 
(12-15-12) / DAY SIX:  Tell SIX people completely unrelated to you that you love them.  Mean it when you say it.
 
(12-16-12) / DAY SEVEN:  Random Hug Day.  That's right, you have to give away SEVEN soulful and indiscriminate hugs.  But here's the deal:  you cannot be the one to let go first.  Unless things start to get creepy...then, by all means, let go.
 
(12-17-12) / DAY EIGHT:  Appreci-EIGHT-tion Day.  Choose EIGHT deserving individuals and thank them - either in person or online - for making a difference in your life. 
 
(12-18-12) / DAY NINE: Peace Out Day. Flip the ol' Peace Sign to everyone you run into between the hours of NINE a.m. and NINE p.m. 
 
(12-19-12) / DAY TEN:  Offer a TEN minute massage to someone deserving, no strings attached (did you hear that, Dickman? No.Strings.Attached)
 
(12-20-12) / DAY ELEVEN:  Sincerely compliment ELEVEN people. No backhanded compliments allowed.  For example, "You sure do look good for your age" is not an acceptable, pre-apocalyptic compliment.  Save that one for the zombies.
 
(12-21-12) / DAY TWELVE:  On the outside chance that the end is near, today is the day to Pay It Forward...since everybody knows you can't take it with you!  (You've never heard of anyone pulling a U-Haul through an apocalypse, right?)  Tell the cashier at your favorite drive-thru that you want to pay for the car behind you.  Then go home.  Lock your doors. And while you wait for...whatever, crank up the volume  and lip sync with complete abandonment: 
 


This, my friends...this is how the world should work. And not just when we think we're gonna die.  After twelve days of this Love Fest?

Apocalypse, Schmocalypse. 
 
 

“There are far, far better things ahead

than any we leave behind.”

~ C.S. Lewis ~