Happy 30th, Lilipootin & Jaco!

As the effervescent young Lillian Simmerman skipped off to Catholic school in her little plaid skirt and Mary Janes, I'm sure she often dreamed about one day meeting her Knight in Shining Armor. I'm not so sure she ever imagined her shiny knight would turn out to be a slick musician in a football jersey. A vertically challenged, hairline receding musician whose longest running committed relationship was with a guitar named Twila.

About the time 18 year old Jackie 'Jackson' Haney was cutting a wide swath through the female population of Texas - armed with nothing more than a guitar and his innate charm - baby Lili was loudly protesting the indignity of being slapped on the butt post-delivery.

And while Lili was studying catechism under the tutelage of nuns, Jack was banging out music in bars and ogling babes. If those well-meaning nuns responsible for shaping Lili's eternal soul had so much as suspected the two dichotomous lives would one day intertwine, they would have called out the Knuckle Rapping Ruler Brigade in full force. Because as any good Sister knows: marriage to a musician is seldom the path of least resistance.

In my 40 years of knowing Jackie, I had grown accustomed to seeing him change girlfriends at least as frequently as he changed the strings of his beloved guitar. I think it's safe to say I had pretty much given up all hope that Jack would ever have a meaningful relationship with any female other than Twila. I pictured him riding off into the sunset of his life, side-by-side with an attractive, big-eyed doll made of durable plastic from China. Then along came Lili. Lovely, sweet, warm, nurturing Lili.

Jack met Lil, his heart went still, and love came tumbling after.


Over the course of their relationship, Jack had become aware of Lili's progressively worsening health problems from diabetes. He called me one night and I could tell immediately that something was very wrong. He told me that Lili was in the hospital and had suffered a heart attack. This man who feared nothing in the world except screwing up onstage, was scared to death. "She's gonna be okay, isn't she, Robin?" He asked. "Of course she is", I assured him, simply because I couldn't imagine her to be otherwise.

When she returned home, he realized more than ever how precious she had become to him. He realized he wanted her to be his, now and forever.


On Christmas Day in 2009, with a pot of Jambalaya bubbling on the stove, Jackie-the-confirmed-bachelor-for-life decided there would never be a better time. Surrounded by family, with no warm-up, no lead-in, and really...no game, he literally dropped to one knee and humbly asked for his sweet Lili's hand in marriage. He was barefooted. He had bed head. He was wearing remnants of breakfast on his sweatshirt. And still, she said yes.

She was slightly miffed that he had asked her while she was wearing sweats and an old t-shirt, but he told her she had never looked more beautiful...

To mark their engagement, he gave her a Claddagh Ring, an ancient Irish ring designed to represent Friendship, Loyalty and Love. Inside the ring was a one-word inscription...eternity.


Today, Jack and Lili celebrate their One-Year Anniversary. Which would be a respectable achievement of seven in dog years, but is an even more extraordinary feat of something like thirty in musician years. They are crazy about each other and have melded their lives into a wonderful symbiosis which bears a passing resemblance to normalcy. While Lili gives Jack a soft place to land, he fills her days with laughter and her nights with song.

It's hard to believe that we've taken one short trip around the sun since these two pledged their love to one another on a rainy day in June. I gotta tell you, I've been to many weddings - from the extravagant to the simple, from the romantic to the sublime - but this was by far the most unique, tender, wacky, wonderfully sweet wedding ever.

It's a wedding story that can only be told with pictures. Lots of pictures.

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Tucked away in the Ozark mountains of Missouri, looking out onto beautiful Table Rock Lake in Branson, generous friends provided the beautiful setting of an empty house. God provided a majestic backdrop. The Dickman provided the vows (because, really...how often in life does a man get the opportunity to marry his brother, outside of Arkansas?)


There were clues from the get-go that we would be coloring outside the lines of normalcy at this wedding. The guest list included some of Branson's finest performers and impersonators as well as virtual legends of music. As people began arriving at the beautiful house overlooking the lake, the wedding began to resemble a scene straight out of central casting.

There was Elvis...


Mr. and Mrs. Paul Revere and assorted Raiders....


Bill Medley of the Righteous Brothers (chatting up Beatle George Harrison)...


Bill Haley's Original Comets, including my boyfriend Dick Richards (who once dated Grace Kelly, I swear it's the truth)...

Not to mention Little Richard, at least two more Beatles, and a dozen sedately dressed Amish (friends of the bride).

As the Wedding March queued up from the kitchen the beautious Lillian walked out of the bedroom and up the makeshift aisle, holding onto the arm of her best friend, her Mom.

At the sight of a glowing Lili dressed up in her beautiful wedding dress and veil, almost every eye in the place grew moist. The realization that this very moment had come frightenly close to never happening caused emotions to run high.

Just ten days prior to the wedding, Lili had suffered a second heart attack and had been hospitalized for several days. Suggestions of postponing the wedding had been tossed about, but Lili insisted on going ahead as planned. Sweet, sweet Lili with her broken heart and gossamer gown was the very embodiment of the lyrics of Leonard Cohen:

Ring the bells that still can ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack in everything / That's how the light gets in.

A room full of hearts filled with love and concern followed each step of the indomitable bride. I literally heard Jackie gasp as he got his first glimpse of her white satined glory. His face lit up with a smile that spread clear across his face as tears of love sprang to his eyes...

The calloused hands famous for coaxing intricate sounds from his guitar, now carefully held the hands of his beloved as Dickie spoke of their purpose...


...May the Lord bless these hands and grant them strength to hold on during storms of stress and the darkness of disillusion. May He keep them tender and gentle as they nurture one another...may these hands continue to build a relationship founded in His grace.

Then Preacher Dick shared a letter that Jack had written to his Lili. It came as no surprise that Jack relied on the metaphor of music to describe his love.

Lili, you are music to my soul. You are every love song ever written...

"You are So Beautiful"
"You Make Me Feel Brand New"
You are "My Girl"
"You Make Me Feel Like Dancing"
"You Are the Sunshine of My Life"

and finally, "You're my soul and my heart's inspiration"

...at which point Bill Medley righteously stood up and took a bow in appreciation for being the artist behind that particular song.



Before she could change her mind, the Dickman quickly asked Lili the burning question: Would she take his brother to be her wedded husband...to love him, honor and keep him in sickness and health...to keep herself only for him, so long as they both should live?

The very second she voiced the words, "I do", the house shook and the sky exploded with a show of light and sound that could only have been choreographed by God, Himself. The audience clapped in spontaneous approval.

If God was well pleased, no less than Him were we.

After sealing their promises with a kiss, the betrothed couple rocked back down the aisle to the tune of (what else?) Rock Around the Clock.

And Mr. and Mrs. Baby Comet kept right on rockin' their way to Club 57, where the party escalated into a musical extravaganza. As you can see from this picture of Jackie busting a move on the dance floor...


...and getting a well-deserved spanking for forgetting his socks.


Lili partied with the Raiders...


While Jackie and his friends provided non-stop entertainment.


Without a doubt, the wedding of Jack & Lili will go down in history as the most wacky and joyful knot-tying ceremony ever committed.

To say their first year has been anything less than a walk on the wild side would be a lie. But from the outside looking in, it has been awe-inspiring to watch these two carve a life out of their love. To discover that two are stronger than one. To realize that a cord of three strands (Lili, Jack and God) is not easily broken.

I count it nothing but joy to see a man in his sixth decade of life - a man I love as a brother - come to truly appreciate that there is more to life than diminished ninths and harmonics...

To gain a sister-in-love and marvel at her strength and generosity...

To discover the flattering effect of Turtle Face picture poses...


I can only pray God continues to shower His blessings and applause upon the union that is Jack and Lili. I pray He does so for many, many years to come.

And I wish for them, as they continue on this roller coaster of their life, that they would remember to "scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loop the loops, and enjoy every twist and turn".

Happy Anniversary Lilipootin and Jaco. 1-4-3, for eternity.