I sure have enjoyed seeing pictures of the fresh-faced 2012 graduates in my mail and on Facebook over the past few weeks. From kindergarten to college, there is something so special about a beaming smile shining beneath mortar board and tassel. Family, friends, and spouses peeking over their shoulders. Everyone bursting with pride and accomplishment.
And rightly so. Graduation is one of the Rites of Life. Passage from one stage to the next. Victory worth celebrating.
So why is it when graduation rolls around each year, my palms get all sweaty and my stomach gets queasy???
It's a conditioned response that goes back to the years when I was responsible for orchestrating the slide show for our church's High School Senior Banquet.
Creating a slide show today is a virtual walk in the park, what with all the digital tools at our disposal. But in the 80's and early 90's...? Not so much.
Old school slide shows consisted of turning photographs into 35 mm slides which were placed one by one in a Kodak carousel and projected onto a large screen, hopefully in some semblance of synchronicity with the the sappy pre-recorded music blasting from a jam box cassette. The entire production was unbelievably time consuming and full of potential glitches.
I would spend hours collecting the photos, getting the slides developed, putting them in order and selecting just the right music to tug at the fragile hearts of parents who would be watching their sons and daughters bloom to life on a projector screen.
Yet, no matter how much love and hard work I put into those slide shows, there remained the ever-present threat of a rogue slide sticking in the carousel and stopping the show. Slideshow Interruptus became my greatest fear.
I went through so many trial runs that my eyes looked as though they were bleeding. I made sure beyond a shadow of a doubt there were no upside down slides, or worse...an empty slot in the carousel which would create a burst of light bright enough to burn the retina right off your eyeball.
Regardless of my preparation, I unfailingly developed a case of the 'trots' on banquet night. While the seniors and their families enjoyed the lovely meal, I would check and re-check the equipment between mad dashes to the restroom.
And then, the Big Moment would arrive. The lights would dim and the room would hush in anticipatory silence as I nervously pushed the 'play' button on the jam box. As the syrupy sounds of child-rearing songs filled the air, I would cross my fingers, toss up a prayer and slowly squeeze the remote of the projector.
I had 'em from the first slide. Few things get to a Mama like seeing the face of her Pride and Joy immortalized on a 15-foot screen. Sentimental slices of life captured in Kodachrome. An idealized past shining from a snaggle-toothed photograph.
Egged on by the “ooooohs and awwwws”, I would continue to methodically click the remote from slide to slide in perfect unison with the music. The strains of “Friends Are Friends Forever...” played to the background accompaniment of parental sniffles. My confidence built as graduate after graduate grew up before our eyes.
And Then.....
AND THEN, THE NEXT FREAKING SLIDE GOT STUCK IN THE CAROUSEL! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Just like that, the love spell was broken. The audience would giggle nervously.
Like a pissed-off ninja, I would quickly grab my trusty butter knife and frantically dig the renegade slide from the carousel. Gouged and bent, the insolent slide would be chucked to the floor as I frantically whispered another prayer and shakily resumed the slide-show. At which point, the audience would usually applaud politely, having more faith than me in my ability to get the show back on track.
*** *** *** *** *** ***
As my thoughts wandered back to those perilous days of High School Senior Banquets, from the perspective of distance I couldn't help but view the entire production as a metaphor for life.
How clearly those slides represent the times we would like to 'freeze-frame' for a moment. Stop and examine. Give the appreciation it deserves.
Go on to the Next Phase.
Go on.
GO!!
Hmmmm...it seems we have somehow gotten STUCK. Crap. Completely inconvenient and totally annoying. And a HUGE waste of time until we finally come to the realization that we are not going to get UNSTUCK without some help. No way. No how.
OOWWWWIEEE! OUCH! Why were we NOT informed that getting unstuck could be painful? Could even leave a scar?
The applause goes to those who don't stay stuck. Big, big applause to those who keep on going – scars and all. Slightly damaged, but oh so brave.
Metaphor, indeed.
And here's the kicker: Throughout this arduous, unpredictable process, some of us are just silly enough to keep on believing that our story will end in Happily Ever After.
Maybe not today, or even tomorrow, but eventually...happily. Ever after.
Because even though we ride like fools through the carousel of life with our sweaty palms and our trusty butter knives...even though we want to believe that we are producing this show, that WE are in control...
And the lights come on...
We suddenly remember...
It all comes down to...
GRACE.
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